SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
4.23.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 4.23.15Happy Thursday!

I’m back from Texas and back in the salon.

My trip was really good. I mean, for the most part it was. I had fun with the people I saw, and it was really nice to see Chilly interact with her Houston dog cousins. Ben and I rented this really nice little house in the museum district that we really, really loved. Usually I don’t dig Southwestern-themed motifs, but I really liked this one. (I never knew that I’d like a cow skin chair and ottoman.)

I fell in love with Houston’s museum district all over again. It’s one thing to drive through it, but getting to walk through it all again was something else. The houses are smaller and more interesting to look at than in most other parts of the city. And when a place has interesting buildings, it tends to be a more interesting place to live.

And the area around the Menil… I went to school right next door, lived in the area, too, and perhaps took the area for granted. But the Menil Collection, the Cy Twombly gallery, the Dan Flavin installation—Flavin completed the design days before he died—and the fact that all the surrounding houses are owned by the Menil. And even painted the same shade of grey… It all just really, really impressed me. I was in love.

I decided that if I ever moved back to Houston, I’d move back to that area.

Anyway, the trip was good. But I don’t think I’m in such good standing with my family anymore. Not all of them, but most of them—which is fine to an extent. I’m not a very sentimental person. And certain kinds of negative behavior I can’t be bothered to engage in. Not worth it. I don’t care who the person is.

But it starts to make me wonder what family really is. Is it people you’re biologically related to OR is it a group of people who serve as your support net? It could be both, of course. But what about when the people you’re biologically related to aren’t part of your support net? What obligations do you hold to them?

I think that depends on the person.

But I’ve got better things to do.

xo
craig

Advertisements
SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
4.16.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 4.16.15

Happy Day before Thursday!

I will be traveling tomorrow and know that there won’t be any time for a self portrait. And I’ve done late portrait entries before. Why not one that’s a day early?

I’ve been listening to a lot of Marilyn Manson lately. I don’t know what this means. I’ve been listening to his music since I was about in eighth grade or so, but my fascination started earlier. I’ve been contemplating buying an old Manson shirt to wear (ironically?). But then that makes me feel weird because that is what I used to wear in high school. At one point I was wearing the clothes and listening to the music because it was an act of rebellion. But now what is it? Well, for one thing it’s really catchy music. I like how Manson is singing all this really dark stuff. And the lyrics really stick. They’re smart. I really like him.

In person I’d give you a very un-PC description of my feelings, but I won’t do that on this blog. I’m not an idiot. I understand the times we live in.

Anyway, it’s good workout music.

I’ve been trying to workout more. It’s getting warmer. I’m feeling that urge to be more active. It’s a frisky feeling, really. I started doing high-load circuit training, which sounds like some bukake party, but it’s not. It’s like regular circuit training, but there’s no cardio in a high-load, just weight lifting. I’m not really interested in cardio, though. I live in NYC and walk everywhere. I’m a super fast walker—to the point where I get self-conscious.

It’s really tough to walk fast when school’s let out in the West Village. Oh man, it’s super obnoxious. It can make me feel like I’m back in Park Slope walking dogs around all the nannies and the bratty kids who need nannies.

Today I overheard this nanny in the West Village ask “her” child: “We’re gonna get some ice cream. Do you want vanilla or vanilla bean?”

And the kid replies: “Vanilla bean!”

What the hell is the difference between vanilla and vanilla bean? How does a six year old know this?

Whatever. I’ll let you know how Houston is!

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
4.9.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 4.9.15

Hello again from a bit of an absence. It’s just been hard to get it together on Thursday mornings. And also, I haven’t had a lot of interesting things to say. At least I don’t think so.

I think a big part of my problem this month has been—and this is going to be some stoner talk right here—the large amount of indica I bought last month. Indica doesn’t make me very energetic or interested in doing much besides going very slow and going to sleep. I’m a sativa kinda guy. I like to get high a lot, but I want to be able to still get my work done, you know? I want to go to that special place but remain active and present. I don’t want to zone out. And I have a hunch that’s been my problem this month. It’s kind of a stupid problem.

Next week we are going to Houston. We being me and Ben and Chilly. I’m filled with equal parts dread and excitement. I’m excited about seeing some family and Houston, but I’m also reluctant. I hate feeling like a kid, and I feel like that can happen when I’m being driven around town. (I don’t drive; I have to be driven around like a kid.) But whatever, when you’re in the presence of your family it’s kind of inevitable for old dynamics to slip into play.

I mainly have a hard time revisiting earlier points in time. I’m usually concerned with what’s next.

Ben and Chilly and I rented a place in the museum district for a weekend while we’re there. That should be fine. I kinda know the area still. And we will be closer to things within walking distance. (Plus I’ll be closer to my good friends that still live there. Plus Andrea will be in town, and I haven’t hung out with her in Houston since I was in college!)

Until then I’ll just be working a lot. Hopefully I can update the self portrait entries while I’m in Houston, but we’ll see… I can’t make any promises.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
3.12.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 3.12.15People tell me I never smile in photos, but whenever I try I look so weird in the photo. Maybe it’s because I know the smile in the photo is fake—and surely everyone else must notice. This is my face when I’m not talking to anyone and looking at a camera waiting for the timer to go off.

Yesterday I watched “Hail the New Puritan” by Charles Atlas and was really blown away. It was the best thing I’d watched in awhile. My feelings about film go back and forth; they’re very inconsistent. Like most movies are kinda bullshit, but I like to go see scary movies in the theater. And film I respect, but have a great un-interest in it. I’m not making any sense. But basically I prefer non-fiction to fiction. Because of that, I really enjoy documentaries. Real life and real stories give me much more inspiration than fictionalized ones. Atlas’ film is a faux-documentary. Kinda trippy. Very visually appealing. And the lead, Michael Clark, is a punk rock dream come true. (It was also nice hearing Glenn Branca again after all these years. I really enjoy his music.)

Not much else is going on. Just listening to Utter Ghouls tracks as they come to me from Portland. I’ve been watching a lot of things about prison and death. True quote from Ben: “I was scrolling through the recently watched titles on Netflix, and it’s all about dying and prison.” What can I say? I think going to prison is a form of dying. And I think about dying a lot. Not that I want to die. I just think about it a lot. I think about sex a lot, too. Death and sex.

Have a great weekend!
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
3.5.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 3.5.15

Hi! Happy Thursday. Happy snowstorm.

I’m actually a little embarrassed to look back and see when the last self portrait post I did. I don’t know what my problem is this fall/winter. I haven’t worked out in about a couple weeks either. The relentless snow and cold has left me with very much energy beyond surviving. And eating lots of ice cream. (I’m not complaining about the cold weather. It’s winter. I get it.) BUT I’ve kept busy…

I spent a week in Portland. It was a magical week spent writing and recording music with my friends there. And I guess I’m in a band now. We are calling ourselves Utter Ghouls. Our mixtape will be out within the month. We will probably just upload it to Soundcloud and see what happens from there. I really want to share it with the world right now, but I have to wait. I actually haven’t even heard all of it yet. We did all the recording back in Portland and then I had to leave back to the East Coast. They’re back going through all the material and we will whittle it down to something great.

I haven’t been painting a lot because music has been on my mind. I have ideas… I guess my blogging has taken a backseat because my mind has been elsewhere, too. Maybe you just gotta step back from certain things sometimes.

Last night I trekked to the New York Public Library to see Jo moderate a panel discussion about Charles Atlas’ work. A really beautiful book highlighting his career just came out. I wasn’t planning on buying it because I don’t have much money right now. (Payday is tomorrow.) But I walked by the book table on my way out and couldn’t help myself. Had to get it—though I don’t really think you can go wrong splurging on an art book. It’s an investment.

Ben’s out of town right now, so it’s just me and Chilly hanging out at the apartment at night. It doesn’t really feel like he’s gone, however. I’ve been working so much since I got back from Portland to make up for the week’s pay I missed that I just work, come home and eat, then sleep. I also manage to squeeze in cuddle time with the dog.

Also, sorry I’m always wearing this zebra sweater. I have about five sweaters. Three are wool. So, I rotate the same outerwear.

The hardest thing about winter is the uniform.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
1.29.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 1.29.15Hey, it’s Thursday the 29th of January. The last day before my Metrocard month pass expired. Always a bit of a sad day.

I bought my ticket for Portland this past week. Leaving in a few weeks and really excited. I’m going to visit Andrea and Aaron and hang and play music. I’ve been playing my guitar this week to get back into the swing of it. You really do start to suck if you don’t practice… I’m really rusty right now and try only to play when I’m alone. Hopefully the neighbors don’t mind hearing it. It’ll come back to me, though, I think. Is playing guitar like riding a bike? I don’t know.

NYC had a big snowstorm but not as big as they said it was going to be. Everyone freaked. I, too, started to freak after getting stoned. It wasn’t anything crazy, and I really wasn’t bothered by the subways shutting down and all that because I’m already off on Mondays and Tuesdays. I was able to go back to work yesterday without any problems. I just stayed at home most Monday and Tuesday, so it was really weird to be at work yesterday.  Work kinda feels like another home…

No big plans this weekend. Big snowy walk through the park?

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!
1.22.15

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY! 1.22.15

Hello!

Chill day today, though I’m having a hard time with focusing. I think that happens at the salon, though. When there is a lot of talk happening and blow dryers blowing, it can be hard to keep my mind in one place. But maybe I’m just ready for tonight: Ben and I are going to see Dawn Richard perform at Webster Hall. Her new album just came out, and it’s really good! She’s got a good sound. Kinda trippy R&B. Just my style.

Other good news was that I was invited to see the dress rehearsal of Hedwig and the Angry Inch on Tuesday evening, starring the original (and only) Hedwig, John Cameron Mitchell. It was really good and moving. I just never expected it to be THAT good. I was so happy.

This weekend I was able to cram in three studio visits (two visitors to my studio, then I went out to the Rockaways to see Ian’s new work). The visits went well. I think having people come visit me back to back might be a little exhausting, though. Like, talking about yourself and your work is a lot, right? But I guess just gotta get used to it… I really like visiting other people’s studios, though, and seeing their work. I’m always interested to see how and where people work, and I love to hear about their process. Even if the work isn’t really my style, I still like to know how people get their work done. The process of making art is the most important thing.

In other news, been thinking a lot about city planning lately, so I started reading The Death and Life of Great American Cities by Jane Jacobs. I think after watching that really long documentary about New York City got me thinking about cities in a way I hadn’t really thought about them, like why do some aspects of city life work and some don’t? or why are some places vibrant with people and life and some places aren’t despite seeming like they would be? What makes a good city and what is just bad design?

I’ve always lived in large cities. Well, I’ve only ever lived in two places my whole life: Houston and NYC, both two of the largest cities in the country. Yet I hate Houston so much, haha. I kid…but the way the city is designed has always offended me in a way. When I lived there I wasn’t aware of my feelings, but I was stubborn enough to not get a car—or even a driver’s license. It felt much better for me to walk or bike or ride the bus in Texas despite the bus system absolutely sucking there. I felt much freer. People there hide in their homes and cars where I come from, and I’d much rather interact with a city. I like interacting with strangers.

But enough about me… I hope you have a good weekend.

xo
craig

SELF PORTRAIT THURSDAY!